WARNING:Disgusting pic.WALT: add descriptive words to my writing.
Remember to:
- use your senses - what can you hear, see, smell, touch and taste
- add in similes and metaphors
using feelings
Ruffle ruffle ruffle I crept as silently as a wolf hehehe!He would never see me coming! I thought to myself as the spring breeze ruffled my mane, altho on second thought this just seems dumb.But I would not stop since I’ve gone this far.This is one of the big,fat,juicy giraffes mmm coming to think of it I can already taste his sweet juicy succulent flesh in my mouth.Then as fast as lightning I jumped of the stilts and onto his back “OUCH!” He screamed in pain “I got you now Jiffy!”I growled in triumph”What did I ever do to you?please let me go!”He pleaded”NEVER!hahaha!”I laughed out loud he tried to shake me of ,but I kept my grip tight and didn't let go.He started swaying here and there then “thump” I was feeling victorious.I dragged him off to my lair then began eating the game that I killed.
Ruffle ruffle ruffle I crept as silently as a wolf hehehe!He would never see me coming! I thought to myself as the spring breeze ruffled my mane, altho on second thought this just seems dumb.But I would not stop since I’ve gone this far.This is one of the big,fat,juicy giraffes mmm coming to think of it I can already taste his sweet juicy succulent flesh in my mouth.Then as fast as lightning I jumped of the stilts and onto his back “OUCH!” He screamed in pain “I got you now Jiffy!”I growled in triumph”What did I ever do to you?please let me go!”He pleaded”NEVER!hahaha!”I laughed out loud he tried to shake me of ,but I kept my grip tight and didn't let go.He started swaying here and there then “thump” I was feeling victorious.I dragged him off to my lair then began eating the game that I killed.
Maybe you should delete the words disgusting pic?
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